It was dawn and June had only slept a few hours after her long drive back from Asheville. She was exhausted but couldn’t waste her energy on thinking about how tired she was. Instead, she went out to the barn to feed the horses and clean them before anybody woke up. She loved being around the horses from a small age. It soothed her jammed up mind and brought her comfort. Their big brown eyes and soft coats. Their innocence was needed, especially now that June’s heart was bleeding sadness beyond her control. With every stroke of the brush, she let herself fall into emotions she didn’t know she had. Her situation was far worse than she could have ever imagined it to be. He was gone from her—for good this time. And she had to be the grownup and let him go.
The wooden barn door clamored shut with a bang. She heard footsteps behind her crunching in the straw. Who could it be? It was so early. The sun was barely over the treetops. She turned around.
“Are you making a comeback without me?” Diana Foster, her former booking agent asked. She stood with her hands on her hips and was wearing a suede fringe jacket, silk white camisole, faded blue jeans with a tan belt and large circled silver dangling earrings. Her outfit screamed Nashville.
June turned back toward the horse and continued to brush the mane. “What are you doing here?”
“Craziest thing happened last night. My phone started ringing off the hook. They all wanted an interview with you, TV, radio, practically everybody under the sun.”
“Not happening…I don’t have time for that.”
Diana stepped forward into the ray of light that shown through the side of the barn. “Whatcha doing out here anyway? Hiding?”
June lowered her head. “You know why I’m out here.”
“Was it all too much for you? Did you come here to run away from success? You were at the top of your game and then poof, you disappeared.”
June lifted her head. “It’s not like that and you know it. You’re not here for me, you’re here for you.”
“That’s far from the truth. I don’t need another client. I can barely keep up with the ones I’ve got.” She walked over to June. “But something told me to put my rhinestone boots on and come out here and talk to you. So, why did you really leave? Too much money. Fame. Or perhaps it was your marriage to Nick. It was an excuse to get out of the business.”
“How dare you!” June dropped the brush and lunged herself toward Diana. “You have no right to come here and spout off all these lies. You know perfectly well why I gave it all up…I had to. My daddy has lung cancer and needs me here. This is more than fame and money…this is real living. Something you’d never understand.”
“Oh yeah…how’s that working out for you? Look at you. You’re a mess. Is this really what you want or are you too scared to face who you really are?” Diana stood there quiet for a moment. “Let’s be honest shall we…You stepped out of the business long before your daddy got sick. You gave everything you had to that boy, including your career.”
June took a deep breath. “I took his career away from him.”
“No, you didn’t. Truth is, without you, he would’ve never made it in this business.” Diana took her stance and held her gaze upon June. “There’s a reason Nick’s in Asheville you know. He couldn’t make it in Nashville like you. And between you and I…that Alice isn’t going to give him what he wants. She’s not good enough.”
June blinked a few times. “Are you saying Nick would return if I sang again?”
“If you decide to come back…and when he comes knocking on your door. Think. Is he there because he loves you or is he there because he loves himself? Because believe me, he’ll show up, that’s guaranteed. But from woman to woman…Don’t come back to music for Nick. Come back for yourself. Please. I’ve known you since you were sixteen years old. You have a big heart, might want to be careful who you share it with.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you with that part. But if you make up your mind, you know my number.” She left as swiftly as she came.
After June took her time caring for the horses she headed inside the house. Henry and Melody were in the kitchen giggling. “What’s going on in here?” June smiled really big when she saw Melody standing on top of Henry’s feet dancing. They were swaying to an old fifty’s song. As soon as Melody noticed June in the room, she stopped everything. June’s dad went and turned the music off. “Please don’t stop because of me.” Sadness tugged at the magic of the moment, and she knew it was because of her presence. June tried to give Melody a hug, but she pushed her away and ran upstairs. June wanted her old life back so badly. She almost would do anything. But as her mind roamed to fixing her problems, she noticed her dad hunched over the kitchen sink. “Dad! Are you okay?”
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t draw a full breath.
She grabbed him with all her strength and tugged his arm over her shoulder and headed to the couch to lay him down. He was turning blue. “Dad, stay with me.” Her voice broke. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Don’t you understand that? You need to fight!” His eyes were closed. She shook him. Melody heard her mother’s frantic words and came running downstairs. “Sweet girl, go get Mommy the phone…Go…Now…Run!” She stood there for a moment in shock and then nodded her head, yes and ran off.
June’s mind screamed for answers. Her dad was dying in her arms, and she couldn’t do a thing about it. “I never said good-bye…you can’t leave me. I need you more than ever. Please!” Tears filled her voice.
Melody came rushing in with the phone tightly gripped in her small hands. “Here, Mommy.” The first words she had said to her in so long.
June nodded and took the phone and quickly dialed 911. Please, God…don’t let him die. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. No more excuses God…I’m yours…
Moments later the ambulance came and took Henry to the hospital. “Get in, Melody.” June opened the backseat door for Melody. She didn’t argue. She slid into the seat and put her seatbelt on. She didn’t want to say anything, and Melody wasn’t old enough to understand fully what was going on. They rode in silence. She could hear Melody’s sniffles but tried not to cry herself. She needed to be strong. This was in God’s hands, she knew.
As the hours ticked by, so did the loss of hope. She wanted to pray. But as the thought hit her, she refused it. She had prayed and prayed. Where had it gotten her? The more she wanted things to be good in her life the more they grew worse. She closed her eyes because she didn’t want to see what was in front of her anymore. Facing it all…would be too much. Blindly, she walked with life…and when she opened her eyes…she melted into her troubles. They suffocated her. She had too many questions and not enough answers…
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