CHAPTER 6 - NINE DAYS BEFORE THE STORM

 

Her father looked fragile. It wasn’t a state that she was used to seeing him in. Even with his diagnosis, he continued to remain the same strong person she had remembered him to be. But now, she couldn’t shake the fact that he had changed whether she wanted to admit it or not.

Time was unfair to them both. She wanted so badly to return to her old life. When her father was healthy, and her family was together. But time pulled them all apart. June remembered the way her father looked at her mother when she would dance on the front porch and sing with her. How he would swoop in and take both of them in his arms. He was a good Father and a good man until…time took his hand and led him into death. After that, all he did was push people away. No one wanted to leave him when he needed them the most. But his pride refused their love. Especially, June’s mother. She changed when he changed. Her light dimmed daily with his harsh words. He didn’t mean any of it. His fear of the unknown had taken over and he said words that she could never forgive him for. Mally had no choice but to move out. He made it impossible for her to stay.

June returned to her homestead because home is where you go when you’re broken. But her home wasn’t the same. It too was broken. Her parents were separated, and it tore June’s heart to pieces. They were the ones that taught her to love. And now she was seeing them both in another light, a dark one. Moving back home felt like a mistake. She had been right to come back. Still, doing what was right wasn’t always comforting. She was miserable. Everyone was. The place had changed, and June didn’t like it.

She had hoped that moving home again would bring her back to her old self. The one that loved life. The one that gave her confidence. She needed that back so desperately. But instead, she was restless with stress looming over her and the more she took on, the more she faded away. June was drowning but all she ever wanted was to swim and to help others swim around her. She just couldn’t do it. No matter how many floats she threw their way, they all refused the help. And when the damage was done. June was alone, swimming aimlessly into a deep sea of regret. She looked around for help, but the waters were empty. No parents, no husband and sadly no daughter. How could she save them when she couldn’t even save herself?

June knew in her heart that her dad was never going to be the same. She also knew deep down that he loved his family. She didn’t need him to say it. She could see past his pain. It’s what kept her going. So, when he asked her to leave a month ago. Unlike her mother, she stayed. He wasn’t going to push her away. She knew he needed her. She also knew how much he loved being with Melody.  

Melody climbed off the couch and rubbed her eyes. “Grandpa?” She moved closer to him but kept an unsure eye on her mother. “Can he hear me, Mommy?”

June nodded.

“Grandpa, when we get home, can you watch me ride my bike?” She waited for him to respond. But his eyes remained closed, and his breathing was heavy and unsteady.

June scooted her chair closer to them both. “If you want, I can take you.”

“No, Mommy. I want Grandpa to take me.”

“But honey…”

“Only Grandpa!”

“He’s sick and needs to rest.”

“He needs to see me on my bike, Mommy. He hasn’t seen me yet.” Tears started to fall. “You always say no.”

June didn’t know if she was having a tantrum or if maybe she understood more than what June thought.

“Oh Melody. I wish he could.” She lowered her head and buried her face into her hands.

Melody gently placed her small hand on June’s back. “It’s okay, Mommy.”

June slowly lifted her head and pulled Melody into a hug. This time, Melody did not pull away. She stayed, there in her mother’s arms. Where two hurt hearts could come together and rebuild. One stone at a time.  

 

⚘⚘⚘

 

In the afternoon, Mally stopped by to take Melody home so she could get some real sleep. June expected her to stay but she refused. She walked into the room and made it a point not to look at her husband lying there, helpless. June wasn’t sure why? She had guessed that she was still mad at him for the awful things he had said to her. But she wondered if it was deeper than that. Maybe Mally didn’t want to see the truth in the future. Like June, she wanted to live in the past. It felt safer that way.

There was a knock at the door.

The doctor rushed in. He had blue scrubs on and looked worn out with puffy eyes. “Miss Waters I presume. I’m Doctor Watts.”

June stood up to greet him. “Mrs. Sparrow…I’m m—”

The doctor didn’t seem to listen. He had news to deliver and wasn’t wasting any time. “Let me be blunt with you.” He paused for a moment. “Your dad is in bad shape. The cancer has spread to other parts of his body. He has fluid build-up around the lungs.” Doctor Watts scratched his head. “He’s in stage four…It won’t be long.”

June’s knees buckled. She reached for the bed to sturdy her a bit. “Can’t we do something? More chemo?”

Doctor Watts tilted his head to the side. “Chemo?”

“Yes, my dad’s been on chemo. Is it not working?”

He scratched his head again. “Um…I’m not sure how to put this. But your dad specifically asked not to do chemo. In fact, he refused any treatment that I had advised him. We went over the repercussions, and he was very aware that this would limit his time.”

June felt the air leave the room. A chilling, weighted silence came in. Her lips were pressed tightly together. It made June feel like a coil of rope, brash wind pulling at it, tugging, slipping. Taking everything away from her. Threads slowly dwindling. It was only a matter of time, and she was going to be torn away.

She looked down at her father as he slept. How could you, Dad?

CHAPTER 5 - TEN DAYS BEFORE THE STORM

It was dawn and June had only slept a few hours after her long drive back from Asheville. She was exhausted but couldn’t waste her energy on thinking about how tired she was. Instead, she went out to the barn to feed the horses and clean them before anybody woke up. She loved being around the horses from a small age. It soothed her jammed up mind and brought her comfort. Their big brown eyes and soft coats. Their innocence was needed, especially now that June’s heart was bleeding sadness beyond her control. With every stroke of the brush, she let herself fall into emotions she didn’t know she had. Her situation was far worse than she could have ever imagined it to be. He was gone from her—for good this time. And she had to be the grownup and let him go.

The wooden barn door clamored shut with a bang. She heard footsteps behind her crunching in the straw. Who could it be? It was so early. The sun was barely over the treetops. She turned around.

“Are you making a comeback without me?” Diana Foster, her former booking agent asked. She stood with her hands on her hips and was wearing a suede fringe jacket, silk white camisole, faded blue jeans with a tan belt and large circled silver dangling earrings. Her outfit screamed Nashville.

June turned back toward the horse and continued to brush the mane. “What are you doing here?”

“Craziest thing happened last night. My phone started ringing off the hook. They all wanted an interview with you, TV, radio, practically everybody under the sun.”

“Not happening…I don’t have time for that.”

Diana stepped forward into the ray of light that shown through the side of the barn. “Whatcha doing out here anyway? Hiding?”

June lowered her head. “You know why I’m out here.”

“Was it all too much for you? Did you come here to run away from success? You were at the top of your game and then poof, you disappeared.”

June lifted her head. “It’s not like that and you know it. You’re not here for me, you’re here for you.”

“That’s far from the truth. I don’t need another client. I can barely keep up with the ones I’ve got.” She walked over to June. “But something told me to put my rhinestone boots on and come out here and talk to you. So, why did you really leave? Too much money. Fame. Or perhaps it was your marriage to Nick. It was an excuse to get out of the business.”

“How dare you!” June dropped the brush and lunged herself toward Diana. “You have no right to come here and spout off all these lies. You know perfectly well why I gave it all up…I had to. My daddy has lung cancer and needs me here. This is more than fame and money…this is real living. Something you’d never understand.”

“Oh yeah…how’s that working out for you? Look at you. You’re a mess. Is this really what you want or are you too scared to face who you really are?” Diana stood there quiet for a moment. “Let’s be honest shall we…You stepped out of the business long before your daddy got sick. You gave everything you had to that boy, including your career.”

June took a deep breath. “I took his career away from him.”

“No, you didn’t. Truth is, without you, he would’ve never made it in this business.” Diana took her stance and held her gaze upon June. “There’s a reason Nick’s in Asheville you know. He couldn’t make it in Nashville like you. And between you and I…that Alice isn’t going to give him what he wants. She’s not good enough.”

June blinked a few times. “Are you saying Nick would return if I sang again?”

“If you decide to come back…and when he comes knocking on your door. Think. Is he there because he loves you or is he there because he loves himself? Because believe me, he’ll show up, that’s guaranteed. But from woman to woman…Don’t come back to music for Nick. Come back for yourself. Please. I’ve known you since you were sixteen years old. You have a big heart, might want to be careful who you share it with.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you with that part. But if you make up your mind, you know my number.” She left as swiftly as she came.

After June took her time caring for the horses she headed inside the house. Henry and Melody were in the kitchen giggling. “What’s going on in here?” June smiled really big when she saw Melody standing on top of Henry’s feet dancing. They were swaying to an old fifty’s song. As soon as Melody noticed June in the room, she stopped everything. June’s dad went and turned the music off. “Please don’t stop because of me.” Sadness tugged at the magic of the moment, and she knew it was because of her presence. June tried to give Melody a hug, but she pushed her away and ran upstairs. June wanted her old life back so badly. She almost would do anything. But as her mind roamed to fixing her problems, she noticed her dad hunched over the kitchen sink. “Dad! Are you okay?” 

He didn’t answer. He couldn’t draw a full breath.

She grabbed him with all her strength and tugged his arm over her shoulder and headed to the couch to lay him down. He was turning blue. “Dad, stay with me.” Her voice broke. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Don’t you understand that? You need to fight!” His eyes were closed. She shook him. Melody heard her mother’s frantic words and came running downstairs. “Sweet girl, go get Mommy the phone…Go…Now…Run!” She stood there for a moment in shock and then nodded her head, yes and ran off.

June’s mind screamed for answers. Her dad was dying in her arms, and she couldn’t do a thing about it. “I never said good-bye…you can’t leave me. I need you more than ever. Please!” Tears filled her voice.

Melody came rushing in with the phone tightly gripped in her small hands. “Here, Mommy.” The first words she had said to her in so long.

June nodded and took the phone and quickly dialed 911. Please, God…don’t let him die. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. No more excuses God…I’m yours…

Moments later the ambulance came and took Henry to the hospital. “Get in, Melody.” June opened the backseat door for Melody. She didn’t argue. She slid into the seat and put her seatbelt on. She didn’t want to say anything, and Melody wasn’t old enough to understand fully what was going on. They rode in silence. She could hear Melody’s sniffles but tried not to cry herself. She needed to be strong. This was in God’s hands, she knew.

As the hours ticked by, so did the loss of hope. She wanted to pray. But as the thought hit her, she refused it. She had prayed and prayed. Where had it gotten her? The more she wanted things to be good in her life the more they grew worse. She closed her eyes because she didn’t want to see what was in front of her anymore. Facing it all…would be too much. Blindly, she walked with life…and when she opened her eyes…she melted into her troubles. They suffocated her. She had too many questions and not enough answers…

 

 

 

CHAPTER 4 - ELEVEN DAYS BEFORE THE STORM (PART II)

 

June knew the moment she stepped into that bar things would change for her. She just wasn’t sure how much. Memories of her old life rushed into her mind. She wasn’t prepared but she was sure of one thing. Nick wasn’t going to see her sweat. Shifting her way through the crowd of people, a haze of smoke smacking her in the face. Deliberately, she stood way back near the bar. She felt butterflies in her stomach.

There he was on stage. Hovered over the microphone. One hand wrapped around it while he sang. His eyes were mellow and voice confident as ever. It surprised her to see how much he’d changed in such a short time. He looked rested. Immediately, she was captivated by his soothing voice. He was talented she admitted. Had she tried to take that away from him? Not on purpose. The thought made her angry, but she couldn’t decide who she was angrier at, him or herself.

Her eyes swung over to Alice. Long blonde hair, slightly tan and dressed as if she was in her twenties again. How could she compete? She didn’t want to, and she knew deep down she shouldn’t have to. He vowed to love her.

Tom handed her a drink with a cherry on top. “You look like you could use this.”

She smiled gently. “This place smells just like I remember it, cigarette smoke and alcohol.”

“Yeah, these kind of places never change.”

June squirmed at the thought. She was thirty-six years old now and had Melody. The only thing she liked about the place was the stage. Everything else was superficial. But here she was chasing her husband down. And though everything told her to run away she wasn’t going to give in. She had come a long way. It was time to put her fears aside and face the demons.

After the set was over, she watched Nick leave the stage and mosey his way toward the bar. She wasn’t sure how she was going to let her presence known. She nearly stepped forward before she decided how foolish that would be.

“Excuse me.” Alice shimmied her way in between Tom and her.

June’s eyes flickered.

“I know you,” Alice said.

I know you too, you’re the slut that took my husband away from me, she thought to herself.

“You’re June Waters…I used to play your music in my car nonstop!”

“I’m June Sparrow now or at least I—”

“Can I—” She paused. It must have taken Alice a minute to realize the connection. “I’m sorry…What did you just say?”

It pained her to explain but she didn’t come here for the drink. “Nick’s wife…”

“Huh…Nick never told me he was married to a famous country singer.”

“Yeah, I bet he didn’t.”

“Look, I know this might sound crazy…but I have to ask…Will you sing ‘All I Want to be is Home’ for me on stage?”

“Oh no, I couldn’t.” June peered over Alice’s shoulder toward Nick. He hadn’t noticed her yet, which made her even more furious.

“You have no idea how much I idolized you when I was younger.” Alice’s eyes widened. “You just have to say yes. It would make me the happiest girl in the South.”

That was the last thing June wanted.

Tom pulled June to the side. “This is crazy…but I think you should. Why not? For old times’ sake.”

“Absolutely not. I didn’t come here for this.”

“It’ll be good for you.”

June shook her head no.

“It’s only one song,” Tom said. “And if you want, we can go after that.”

“I didn’t come all this way to make Alice’s night the best night of her life!”

“This isn’t about her. It’s about you. You can’t tell me that you don’t miss being up there on that stage.”

June shook her head again. “I hate you.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“What the hell.” June grabbed Tom’s shirt and dragged him up on stage with her. He picked up an acoustic guitar and sat on a stool next to her. June held her breath and looked out at the dark shadows in the crowd. The warm lights and crowd faded away as June introduced herself. “It’s been a long time.” She pauses. “But here I am, so let’s give this thing a whirl—shall we?”

The lyrics were inspired by her homestead in Franklin, Tennessee. Even now the lyrics still had a place in her heart.

I don’t want to be in the great unknown

All I want to be is home

So, take me there, and let me be

I’ll be fine, and we’ll be free

A place for us to grow together

A place for us to live forever

Suddenly, June stopped singing. But the crowd never wavered. They cheered her on which gave her the momentum to continue. It sparked an old feeling in her. One that she thought she had buried real deep within. But the more she sang, the more she forgot about her problems. She looked at Tom and smiled.

When she finished the song, Tom hugged her, and whispered, “I’m proud of you.”

She blushed. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

Tom squeezed her tight. “Why June Sparrow…I do believe you were born to do that.”

Grinning ear to ear, Tom and June walked back toward the bar area where Nick and Alice were.

“Is that lipstick you’re wearing?” Nick asked June.

“Is it a crime to wear lipstick?”

“You look pretty.” Nick leaned in closer. June realized why she was there and backed away.

June shook Alice’s hand. “Thank you for that. Can I buy you a drink?”

Alice rubbed her tummy. “No thank you. I’m four months pregnant.”

June glared at Nick. Her teeth clenched. Tension filled the moment. In a blur of fear and anger and so much uncertainty, she couldn’t remember how to breathe because that baby meant two things for her. A new beginning and an end.