CHAPTER 2 - THIRTEEN DAYS BEFORE THE STORM

 

CHAPTER 2

June turned the porch light off at two in the morning and went upstairs. She lay in her bed fully dressed, staring at the ceiling, listening to every creaking sound the old farmhouse made. Hopeful, she wanted to be. It was a mistake to return. She wiped that thought from her mind, knowing it was her duty. Her parents needed her, and she needed them. This was her home. Always had been.

She rolled over and reached for him in the darkness. Nothing. It was empty, cold. She rolled back over and stared at the ceiling for hours and though it was dark, the full moon outside her window shone bright enough to see shadows as they moved with the rhythmic tick of the ceiling fan. She’d spent half her life in this room, writing songs and singing. There was a time when she wanted every minute of her day. It wasn’t like that now. All she wanted was sleep but even that never came. She closed her eyes, but all she could picture in her mind was Nick in a bar talking to some young girl, using the same tactics that he had used on her long ago.

Stop.

If she allowed herself to give in to the self-reprimanded pain, she might never return to her former self, and Melody needed her.

Hours of the night drifted by when she heard her daughter’s pain from the other room. It seeped through the walls with every cry. She wanted to get up and go to her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she couldn’t because her insides were telling her it wasn’t okay. As she listened, her tears trickled down her cheeks and onto the sheets. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that when she opened them, everything would be as it should. She wished that the house would feel like the home she remembered. She would wake up and her husband would be beside her, resting. She had all these dreams of how it was supposed to be. Instead, her dreams had turned into nightmares and opening her eyes didn’t help. It was another night of pain for all of them, really. Where separation was the new norm and togetherness was a rope that had been frayed in the windy storm of life.

 

 

Henry Waters woke up when he heard Melody crying across the hall. He threw the covers off and hurried into the hallway. When he opened the door, she was curled up around her pillow.

“Melody…” He whispered.

She rolled over on her back and looked up at him. Her eyelids swollen, cheeks red, and strains of her long brown hair were wet and stuck to her face.

“I’m guessing…you can’t sleep,” he said.

She shook her head.

He glanced over at the alarm clock that was beside her bed. It was close to five in the morning. “Do you want blueberry pancakes? It was your mommy’s favorite when she was a little girl.”

She blinked a couple of times.

He reached for her small hand and helped her up.

The house was dark as they made their way downstairs. Hand and hand they walked into the kitchen. He flicked the light on.

Melody crawled onto the barstool and crossed her legs at her ankle.

He noticed her watching him as he reached for the frying pan and ingredients out of the cupboards. He tried to hide the fact that his hands were trembling.  

“He’ll come back, right?”

He dropped the frying pan on the linoleum floor, almost hitting his foot. Slowly, he came around the bar, slumped down on the barstool next to her.  

She bit her quivering lower lip as she peered into his eyes.

“Sometimes grownups walk away to think about things.” He was tired, so tired. He wanted to tell her she was his moon and stars, his everything. But he thought about how she would remember him, and how hurt she would be after he was gone. “I love you.”

“Grandpa, can you make my pancake into a smiley face?”

He nodded and briefly remembered that he was talking to an eight-year-old. He slid off the stool and lit the gas stove. After washing the pan, he poured the pancake batter in. Blueberries rolled onto the floor as they fell out of his grip. He made a few before he got it to look like a smiley face.

“Mommy doesn’t love me anymore either.”

He winced and placed the plate in front of Melody and grabbed a fork from the drawer and handed it to her. Carefully, he sat beside her. “Your mommy loves you, very much. She just needs some time, just like you do when you get mad. Time to remember the good times and sort through the bad ones and remember who she is, who she really is.”

 

 

June heard voices coming from the kitchen. Nick’s home, she thought. It was late, but she would forgive him. They would work this thing out, whatever this was. She headed downstairs and sat on the lower step and listened. It was the sweet sound of her daughter’s voice. Oh, how she missed that sound.

“Does that mean that soon Grandma can move back in with us?”

“Your grandma and I are like syrup and pancakes. When we’re apart, she’s just a sassy syrup and I’m a flat pancake but really—were made for each other. And your mama is like sauerkraut and your daddy’s a hotdog. Without your mama, he’s just a little w—”

June walked in and interrupted. “All right, that’s enough…Aren’t you supposed to be getting dressed for your doctor’s appointment?”

“Can I go with you, Grandpa?”

“No, you need to stay here and listen to your grandma. I mean it now. Don’t you leave her sight. Goodness knows, she can’t afford anymore gray hairs on that head of hers.”

June poured herself an orange juice and sat on the other side of Melody at the bar. “Good morning, sweet girl.”

Melody looked away.

“Really?”

Melody dropped her fork onto the plate and scooted herself off the stool.

June grabbed her pajama sleeve. “Please…”

Without looking at her mamma, Melody pulled herself away from her grip and rushed upstairs.

June’s hand lingered in the air.

A part of her wanted to go after her but she didn’t. Instead, she stood and poured a full glass of orange juice down the kitchen sink drain. She stared out the window. The sky was auburn, and the sun rose slightly above the gable of the horse barn. A soft blanket of fog laid gently on top of the damp grass and peeked out from the Hackberry trees. Everything seemed so pretty. It was a shame that she was unable to enjoy it. 

Slowly, her father arose from his stool. He was unsteady on his feet. June reached out for his arm to keep him upright.

He leaned in and kissed her on her cheek. “She’ll come around.”

June let out a low, tired sigh. “I sure hope so. I miss her.” She waited for him to say something else, but she saw how tired he was. He moved slowly, very slowly as he walked out of the room. His breath sounded ragged, as if he was tortured with pain each time he exhaled.

June stayed in the kitchen alone. Her mind drifted off to the last conversation that Nick and she had. She remembered pacing back and forth for hours down the hallway and suddenly the front door swung open. It was around midnight when Nick walked in as he had done the previous nights. Melody was already in bed. June wondered where he’d been all day and assumed the worst. When she’d ask, he gave her the same response every time. What do you think I do all day? he’d said with a blank empty stare.

Her emotions couldn’t be concealed anymore. She’d had to ask, what happened to you? To us?

I don’t belong here, he’d said.

 We’re your family. Of course, you belong here. All you ever do is think about yourself! We need you here…I need you here…I can’t do this without you.

Their heated conversation shook the walls. She pushed. It didn’t take much. She felt he already had one foot outside the door. She wished he would come back to her. Remember their love like it used to be. But instead, he did the unthinkable. He grabbed his car keys and just like that, he was gone.

Melody had watched it all from the top of the stairs. She’d followed him out the front door barefooted, wearing her white nightgown. Screaming, don’t go, Daddy! But Nick never slowed, nor did he look back. If he had, he would’ve seen his daughter’s face as she curdled in pain.

June leaned against the kitchen sink with her head bowed. It was too much to think about. She wanted to believe that things were going to change but the hard road she’d been traveling was a long one and she wasn’t able to see another way around it. She tried to picture her life without him and for the life of her she couldn’t. She didn’t know who she was without him.