Nick was still asleep. June slipped from the bed quietly and quickly, trying not to wake him, got dressed, and went into Melody’s room.
June leaned down and whispered, “Baby girl, I’m going to the hospital. I want you to stay here with your dad and grandma.”
She didn’t answer but June could tell she was half awake. She snuggled back into the covers and rolled over.
June left the house and proceeded to her truck, noting that the temperature had cooled markedly since yesterday. The sky was gray, and a steady breeze was blowing the treetops all one direction. She wasn’t sure if it was the weather that was making her feel so uneasy or was it the fact that Nick was back.
Standing outside her father’s hospital room, she grasped the knob and slowly turned, opening the door. Each day, he became frailer; the hospital gown seemed to envelop him.
“It looks like it’s going to storm out there,” June said, trying to take her mind off of how bad her father looked. “Can I get you anything?”
He pointed to the pitcher of water beside his bed. She crossed the room and picked up the pitcher and poured him some water into a cup. He reached for the cup with shaky hands. June placed her hands over her dad’s, helped him hold the cup.
“Thank you, June,” he said, the words were labored. “What’s wrong? You don’t look like yourself.” When he finished speaking, he took a couple agonized, wet-sounding breaths.
“It’s nothing,” she answered. She turned toward the window, letting the silence hang.
“It’s Nick, isn’t it?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because I’ve seen that look before. It looks like you're lost, confused—”
“Stop, please…I can’t take anymore.”
Henry closed his thin lips and nodded.
“He just showed up at our house yesterday. Part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and be a family again but then there’s another part of me that knows better. Some things are just not adding up. Where has he been all this time? And why the heck is he back now? We’ve needed his help, he knows that. Not one phone call, not one…Don’t you think that’s weird?”
Her father held June’s gaze. “I don’t know how to answer that. I’d like to think he’s grown a conscience. But…”
June thought about it before shaking her head. “When he showed up, all I could think about was our love for each other. How I missed it, how I missed him. I feel like I’m at war with myself—like two different people, who want different things. Knowing that whatever I choose, there’s part of me that will regret it forever.”
“You remember sitting on my lap as a little girl. You used to tell me all you wanted to do was sing to help the world.”
She raised her eyes to his, her expression drawn in anguish. “Help the world…yeah, I remember. Didn’t quite happen that way. Instead, the only people I helped were my agent, manager, music promoters, record label, PR companies, producers, sound engineers, and the list goes on. None of it felt right, except for the fans who really enjoyed my music. But it wasn’t enough. I feel like God wants me to do something…But I just don’t know what that something is. And if he’s sending me signs, I’m missing them all. I just can’t see myself as that girl when I’m with Nick.”
“Well, that’s a shame because I love that girl.” He coughed. “You shouldn’t change who you are or what you want to be for that guy,” he said, hearing the desperation in his voice. “This is your future, your hopes and dreams…not his…”
She blinked without speaking, trying to absorb what he’d said.
Doctor Watt’s appeared in the doorway. “Hello,” he said, forming each syllable carefully, his manner and posture formal.
June forced a smile as he entered the room. “Hi,” she replied.
“Glad I caught you, we’re releasing your father today.” He could see the concern on June’s face. “I’m sorry but there’s nothing more we can do.”
June swallowed and nodded, knowing it would be good for him to be home again, a place he loved with people he loved.
Doctor Watt’s spoke quickly but kindly. “I know this is difficult. We’ve made a call into hospice for you.”
June bit her lower lip and nodded again. Several seconds passed as she processed everything. She never imagined this. She imagined her dad growing old with her mom and living in the house where she grew up. But not this. Seemed so unfair. Cancer was not only erasing her father, but it was also erasing her family.
When they arrived home, the sun had burned its way through the clouds. June looked around for Nick, hoping he would help her, but he was nowhere to be found. So, June, by herself, set up Daddy’s hospital bed in the living room, where light flowed through the windows.
June later entered the living room, after Henry had been sleeping for hours.
He slowly angled up in the bed, the pain at the base of his spine twinged through his body. Slowly, he reached for the coffee table that set next to his bed. With his hands trembling, he gently picked up a letter that was folded in half. “Here.”
As he handed the letter over to her, she looked down at his hands and took it. She unfolded it carefully. It read:
My Love,
I’m writing this letter because I don’t know how else to tell you how sorry I am.
Mally, falling in love with you has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. As hard as it is for us now—I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.
I’m sorry I haven’t been the same man you fell in love with. I became a villain, a person I had no desire to be. I let cancer take over not only my body, but my heart. It grew dark, scared, and lonely. And I didn’t want you near me to see such self-destruction.
This is the reason I pushed you away. I thought it would be best to have you hate me rather than leave you with a broken heart.
I want you to know, I treasure our time together, however brief. You made me a happy man. Had you not been in my life, I think a vital part of me would have simply withered away. You made me want to be better. With my memories of our life—I feel at peace with dying.
You have every right to be mad at me. I not only hurt you in the most terrible way, but I tried to take away our love. But a love like ours, will never die, not even with me. I miss you, miss your sassy remarks, your laughter, your pretty singing, wry smile, even your nagging. Most of all, I miss having you as my friend.
Mally, it’s time for you to live your life. When the river of life pushes you along with time, just know, I’ll be there with you.
I love you,
Henry
When she finished reading the letter, she wandered outside and stood with unsteady legs on the front porch. Mally and Melody were swinging lightly and reading one of Melody’s books.
Mally looked up. “Everything all right?” she asked.
June slowly walked over to them and handed her Mamma the letter.
Mally didn’t want to take it.
“Please.”
Mally turned to Melody. “Sweet girl, will you get your grandma a sweet tea?”
Melody grinned and scooted off the swing and ran into the house. June waited a moment for her mother to read the letter silently to herself, then she gently sat next to her on the swing. For a terrible, delicate moment, time stopped between them, the world caught it’s breath.
Mally lifted her head and released her tight shoulders. “All this time…”
“I know Mamma. None of this seems fair, none of it.”
Mally’s eyes filled with tears. “How can I say good-bye to the man I love? How?”
Tears slid down June’s cheeks. “I love you, Mamma.”
Mally rose to her feet and walked into the house, June followed in unison. Mally stood in the hallway that led to the living room, staring at her husband, his rail thin body, pale skin. She couldn’t handle much more than a few minutes. She closed her eyes, sighed deeply, June heard how long and how hard her mother had been avoiding this very moment.
Melody came up beside Mally holding the tea, proudly in her hands, being careful not to spill it, though it was filled to the rim.
June leaned down and took the glass from Melody. “Thank you, sweet girl,” she said with a slight smile. Although Melody was only eight years old, she could sense the gravity of the moment. She grabbed her grandma’s left hand. Normally, her grandma would react, but not this time. Her eyes remained glued to her husband, noting how much he had changed in such a short period of time.
Henry sighed tiredly, gazed up at Mally through sad, watery eyes. “I’m sorry.” His thready voice floated on the sunlit air.
June took Melody’s other hand and held it. The three of them walked toward Henry’s bed. Melody let go of their hands and laid her head down on her grandpa’s chest. Henry reached out, shaking, caressed her soft hair. “I heard you reading one of my favorite books to your grandma, The Falling Raindrop.” Henry coughed. “You know why I like that book so much?”
Melody lifted her head.
“Because the raindrop reminds me of myself. As he falls, his happiness vanishes. He suddenly realizes he’s falling and not flying, he’s scared, alone, afraid of what might happen to him. He misses out on the joy, he misses out on everything, until he sees a glow and he can’t stop himself from crashing into it, but instead of disappearing, something magical happens. The little raindrop rises and joins the clouds once more.”
“Grandpa, are you going into the clouds?”
“Melody, I’m going to rise and be with God. He’ll take care of me as he has done so on earth.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“And I’m going to miss you too,” he said as tears ran down his cheeks. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Good,” he whispered. “Be a big girl and look after those two. They’re troublemakers, you know.”
Melody let out a laugh and looked up at her mom. “You got it.”
June leaned down and kissed her father’s forehead. “Melody, can you help me fix dinner?”
Melody hugged her grandpa so tightly; you could see him grimace a little from the pain. But he didn’t stop her.
When they were gone, Henry sighed, pulled the covers up. “She’s a good kid.” His voice was almost too quiet to hear.
“I thought we would never see each other again.”
“And yet…here we are.” Henry coughed blood into a wad of tissue. “The thought of you being alone, without me…”
Mally leaned down, kissed his wet cheek. “I know…I wish we could start again without all the noise and stress. Just the three of us, together, loving each other the way we should and enjoying each day like it’s our last. I wish so badly for that time back. I’d forgive you and—”
He interrupted. “Mally.”
“Yes.”
He reached up, his hand shaking, and touched Mally’s cheek. “I wouldn’t change a day in our life, not one. Because even when we were at our worst, we both knew our love could never be broken or changed by anything. Didn’t we?”
She smiled and let the tears roll down her face, no holding back, none. She submerged her fear, her anger…and let the light into her heart. “You’re the love of my life…I love you, Henry.”
Henry’s hand fell from Mally’s face, thumped onto the bed. He struggled to take one more breath, fought so hard for one more breath…but the air left his body and never returned.
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